It's nice to see you've got another comic to share with us, Jay. I'm glad that it's a lot cleaner than your last one. See what a difference inking and tighter colouring can make? The comic gets brownie points for a better technique and an attempt at lighting, but there are misteps that even a quick comic should avoid. The page composition leaves much to be desired, ranging between two and four panels, which is few even compared to your previous comic. The pages with more panels leave an unsightly amount of white floating around, which shows a poor distribution of negative space. The lack of polish in the layout really hurts the presentation, because the illustrations are pretty decent otherwise.
The story is cute, but rather perfunctory. Like the last comic, there's rampant capitalism on sentimentality with tears and hugs while light on the story. I'm not expecting Shakespeare, but I've seen better examples of male bonding through outdoor games and less.... bed sharing. I mean, is there any message you wanted to share with readers through this comic, or is it just a superficial attempt at cutesy? Also, I had to laugh at page 5 when Tails is thrashing in bed. He must be in one hell of a fever dream if he can't awaken from that state.
Overall, it's a good attempt for a quick comic and I hope to see you improve further. Work on your page layouts and try and be a bit more subtle handling the emotional aspect. More story, less melodrama.
I didn't ask for a critique. But thanks anyway. I'm still fooling around with the comic panels. Did this for fun. This isn't my story, it was :iconDreamman001:'s But glad you like it.
Really good job, as always. I have a commission though-could you make a second version, only with Chris from Sonic X having a nightmare and Sonic comforts him? It doesn't have to be a full comic or anything, it can be just a few panels. One thing though-Sonic is supposed to be like Chris's older brother in a way, I personally never thought it looked right the Chris was much taller than Sonic if Sonic is his older brother. So could you make Chris as tall as Tails that way the "older brother" thing has more effect? I know this one is sort of precise but it's just an idea. Thank You!
This is without a doubt your best comic you've drawn and colorized from start to finish Jay! You did an excellent job on all the pages =3 Congratulations!
Dang, after reading these pages and seeing the pictures it really brung a tear to my eye, it is such a wonderful comic you did and it ties really well with the Sonic Universe.
I mean-
Very fluffy. I like.
It was so sweet and cute.
(Gives you a cookie to reward you on your awesome work)
keep up the good work.
The story is cute, but rather perfunctory. Like the last comic, there's rampant capitalism on sentimentality with tears and hugs while light on the story. I'm not expecting Shakespeare, but I've seen better examples of male bonding through outdoor games and less.... bed sharing.
Overall, it's a good attempt for a quick comic and I hope to see you improve further. Work on your page layouts and try and be a bit more subtle handling the emotional aspect. More story, less melodrama.
I have a commission though-could you make a second version, only with Chris from Sonic X having a nightmare and Sonic comforts him? It doesn't have to be a full comic or anything, it can be just a few panels. One thing though-Sonic is supposed to be like Chris's older brother in a way, I personally never thought it looked right the Chris was much taller than Sonic if Sonic is his older brother. So could you make Chris as tall as Tails that way the "older brother" thing has more effect? I know this one is sort of precise but it's just an idea. Thank You!
Awwww ~<3 Such a sweet short comic >u<
Lovely work!